Pet Sounds by Howard Louise Breaw: How To Bathe a Cat!

Hello CHS Class of ’66.  Most of you don’t know me.  My name is Howard Louise Breaw.  I am one of three dogs belonging to Al and Shirley Breaw.  I live with the Breaws in Tucson, AZ.  I am fortunate to live in a household where dogs are highly treasured and receive many of life’s amenities that can be attained by a dog.  In fact, I and my two canine housemates, Hunter Louise Breaw and Carmen Louise Breaw, are probably spoiled by our masters, especially Al, a real pussy cat, symbolically speaking.

I know that Al and Shirley recently attended their 50^th High School Class reunion, an event they really enjoyed.  I thought maybe the CHS Class of ’66 should include an option for their classmate's companion pets to share some life stories as well.  So, after discussing this with the Digital Demons, I am happy to announce a new opening in the CHS Class of '66 Blogger called Pet Sounds.  Through the Pet Sounds Blog, classmates can learn much about the trials and tribulations of their secondary families through this new linkage.  After all, "A Dog is a Man’s Best Friend."

I would like to start the ball rolling in Pet Sounds with a blog about one on my Pet Peeves, it’s about that feline species called the cat, a small domestic, typically furry, carnivorous mammal, that seem to be valued by humans for companionship and sometimes for their ability to hunt and eliminate vermin.  Personally, I am not impressed by this trait and I have little use for the common house cat.  If they need to be part of the human experience and live in the same house as other family pets, then they should be clean.  Accordingly, I am offering a simple approach to keeping them clean by using the following guidelines entitled:

HOW TO BATHE A CAT

1.  Thoroughly clean the toilet’s bowl.

2.  Lift both the seat lid and cover lid and add shampoo.

3.  Find and soothe cat as you carry him to bathroom.

4.  In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top, so cat cannot escape.

5.  The cat will self-agitate and produce ample suds. (Ignore ruckus from inside toilet, cat is actually enjoying this.)

6.  Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides an effective power rinse for the cat.

7.  Have an assistant open all doors connecting bathroom to the house’s outside.

8.  Stand as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift the toilet bowl’s seat lid and cover lid.

9.  The thoroughly clean cat will abruptly leap from the toilet and enter the outdoors, where he will begin a self-induced drying process. 

Soothing the Cat (Pre-Wash)

Cat During Power Wash

               

Cat Leaping From Toilet (Post Wash)

Cat Running to Dry Out (Post Wash)

Pet Sounds will be happy to receive all stories from Class of ’66 animal friends, including dogs, cats, fish, birds, gerbils, snakes, goats, bovine, equine, lupine, vulpine, ursine, simian, etc.  Please contact or send your submissions to Howard Louise Breaw, Pet Sounds Director, CHS Class of ’66 Digital Demons.